Today for My Heavenly Holidays I wrote a recount based around my school break
In my story below that I had to complete. It shows what I've been doing for 2 weeks.
I’m looking forward to my next task about My Heavenly Holidays (I hope our holidays start soon!) I really enjoyed writing my story, and I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I do!
I’m looking forward to my next task about My Heavenly Holidays (I hope our holidays start soon!) I really enjoyed writing my story, and I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I do!
Till next time,
Krisina
“I answered the door, and an unfamiliar man stood at our doorstep, he said that he had something important he had to say to me and my family.” Suddenly once again everyone became intrigued, my uncle smirked and continued on. “I cautiously let him in, and ushered him towards our living room, I went around to everyone’s bedroom doors and told them to come to the living room, because we had a guest.” The room went silent, all eyes were on my uncle ‘This is like camping outside in the dark and Uncle’s telling us a horror story’ I thought to myself.
“Once my family was gathered in the living room, this unexpected guest insisted to sit on the floor, so we let him after all we had no idea who this man was. He apologized for coming at an unapropriate hour but I told him that he had nothing to worry about. He introduced himself as Korey, he attended a school in Samoa for pastors called Piula Theological College.” Suddenly everyone was surprised, my uncle could tell by their expressions so he continued on. “He asked for my daughter’s hand in marriage, and I said yes!” everyone was shocked for a moment, and soon the room erupted into bursts of happiness, this wedding was going to be the best wedding in our family!
Kiaorana Krisina, it's Mariah. I really liked how you added in speech marks, commas, explanation marks, full stops and capital letters. I think you should've added in more that happened to your holiday to make it a little more interesting. Other than that I like your little story and the words you used in it. What do you think you could've been doing in your holiday apart from what you wrote and what happened.
ReplyDeleteTalofa Lava Mariah, Thank you for making time to comment on my blog! At the end of my story I tried to build suspense to lure blog - seers to my blog. Well overall this is basically the only thing I did in my holiday.
Deletegood Work krisina
ReplyDeletei like your chose of words
but maybe next time try putting the Suddenly everyone was surprised, my uncle could tell by their expressions so he continued on.
“He asked for my daughter’s hand in marriage, In the same paragraph Thats All
By your Fellow Edinburgh Caitlin
Talofa Lava Caitlin, Thank you for making time to comment on my blog! Thanks for the tip, I'll edit it now.
Delete